I Stand!

Ang tagal ko na palang hindi nakapag-post. Hehe. Anyway, last February, for the first time nakasama ko sa ICON (International Conference). Sobrang excited ako kasi bukod sa unang beses akong makaka-attend ng ICON, first time ko din pumunta ng Bicol at first time ko din sasakay ng eroplano. Yipee!

This conference, opposite of what I'm expecting, is not so different with Metro Manila Conference. Siguro dahil ang Metro Manila din ang nag-organize kaya halos pareho lang sila ng program. But nonetheless, it leaves us a very clear lesson: to stand for everything we believe - with conviction!

Pero ang pinaka-natutunan ko talaga sa conference na to, is to always be on guard, Jesus should remain my focus. There's a lot of enticing temptation that the enemy is throwing at us, and most of the time we didn't even realize that it is actually from him. Kaya if there's a little bit of doubt in you, even a hint of doubt in your heart about something, then pray. It is our best weapon.

Friday night, dahil nainggit kami sa pictures nila Aldino at Marie sa CWC, pinlano namin ni Monch na mag-CWC din ng Saturday afternoon after ng workshop. So logically, wala namang masama sa plano namin na yun right? Aattend naman kami ng workshop sa umaga then after nun tsaka kami mag wake. Pero kung iisipin mong mabuti, parang may mali. Una, we are there because of the conference. Pangalawa, Saturday is scheduled for our workshops, confessions, counselings etc., Pangatlo, Saturday afternoon, our chapter is the appointed service team for one of the workshop. So there we go, alam ko lahat yan pero tuloy pa din ako sa plano. But God works fast. He is rescuing us even before we ask for Him to do so. Alam mo ba ang ginawa nya? He told the Governor of CamSur to make the wakeboarding free for SFCs. Siguro iniisip nyo, "Oh eh di mas maraming SFC ang magwe-wakeboard nalang kesa umattend ng activities ng conference", well maybe you're right. But come to think of it. Since we are not paying, do you think they will make us their priority? Maraming foreigner dun na willing magbayad. And FREE for six of thousands of people... what will you expect? Mahabang-mahabang pila. One more thing is, (based on my observation, correct me if I'm wrong) the wakeboard facility can only accomodate 10 to 15 persons per hour, depende pa yung kung ilang hours yung binayaran nila. So, siguro makakapag-wakeboard ka kung alas syete o alas otso nakapila ka na. And there you go, dahil makulit kami, tinry pa din namin ni Monch after ng workshop. Pila kami, sige pila! ...and our wakeboard plan for Saturday fails. We fall on number 80+ and they are serving customers number 46. Take note that every customer number can be a group. Baka abutin na kami ng hating-gabi eh hindi pa kami naka-wakeboard.

This is just a simple tactic of the enemy. He uses our weaknesses and insecurities against us. Satan will make us feel defeated. He does not even want us to try. Pero tulad nga ng sabi ko, God is in rescue. Our armor is Christ Himself. Pray. We have already won this victory 2000 years ago. All we have to do is to keep this victory on us. Sabi nga ng isang brother, "If the devil could do anything he wanted, there would not be a single living person left on earth". That is so true.

Keep in mind who you are and whose you are. - You are God's. That is final and true.

Larger than Life!

SFC Metro Manila Conference: One Heart

This is my second time na maka-attend sa MMC. This time, it was held at the Rogationist College sa Silang, Cavite. And ofcourse I am expecting to feel the same feeling I felt nung una ko yun ma-experience sa MMC Christ Pursuit sa Baguio last year. Sana lang.

I don't know what happened. From the time I arrived at the venue on Friday night until Saturday, I'm feeling......sad, I felt lonely, empty. Nothing in the MMC excites me. Neither the praisefest nor the sessions or the merchandises or the events or the workshops. I'm bored. No, I'm not used to it but.....there's something missing. At first iniisip ko, siguro dahil we have small numbers of delegates kaya ganun. I even blamed it to the venue na feeling ko kasi masyadong maliwanag at exposed sa labas kaya hindi ko masyado ma-feel yung activity. I know it's weird pero ganun eh.

At one moment of Saturday morning worship, I found out what's missing. Neither the venue nor our numbers aren't the reason why I'm feeling lonely and sad. It is me. I think I lost Him. Jesus. I cannot feel His presence anymore...and I don't know why.

Saturday morning, after the praisefest, I attended "Heart made to Worship" workshop. Not because I wanted to attend that workshop but because that's the last workshop that have available slots. Sabi ko nalang sa sarili ko, "hmm ok lang kesa walang ma-attenan." So ayun, kahit pano may mga natutunan din naman ako (haha, ang sama). But there's one part of the workshop that really strikes me. It's when Bro. Kirby Llaban give us a group activity where each will prophecy (to listen to God's word or message [doesn't necessarily mean you will hear the voice of God])  and tell it in the group. I closed my eyes and turned my heart to God. At the time some words poured my mind, then also I started sharing it with the group. I believe the Lord said, "Do not be tired my child. For when the times you cannot feel my presence. I assure you that I am there." It was as plain and as short as that. That confirmation from God gave me courage to strive more in service. But after hearing those words.....again....I lost Him. It's like He just answered the phone for a moment then suddenly hunged up.

At the end of session 3 is the Holy Hour. Up to that time I'm expecting God would again confirm to me that He's not giving me up. It could be a feeling, or an event, or words, or a sign, or an embrace, or a song, or an image....anything! But no. Nothing comes. I looked around me and I see people crying...praying. I know they're in His glory that time. But me....I'm lost. That time, I bowed my head, closed my eyes and uttered, "Bakit hindi kita maramdaman Lord?". I waited for a response....and there's nothing. I'm losing hope. As I opened my eyes and looked up, I saw Jesus' image in the screen... bigla ko nalang nasabi, "Lord....nami-miss na kita." And by then, I started to cry.

Truly, this MMC is far different from the Christ Pursuit. Based on my experience, the last year's MMC is full of fun and heartwarming. This time, it was more emotional and spiritually mature. I believe God had just put me into a test. He maybe want to know what I'm going to do when He made me feel He's not there. Maybe, He's just want to observe my thoughts and my action in those times. I realized...I'm so selfish. I keep asking myself what God could give me, or what else can I expect from Him, or "Is God giving me His best?" when the real question should be, "Am I giving God my best?".

At the end of this conference, I admit that I didn't enjoyed it that much. But this conference isn't about enjoyment. It's about renewal. A reminder. It's about realizations. Letting us know what God wants for us. Bringing us closer to God. And the message is loud and clear. When we feel we are lost, call Him and He, without doubt, will come to rescue. God's love for us is everlasting and extravagant. No sin is bigger than His loving heart. When we come to a point of not feeling us beside Him, believe that He's there. He confirmed it.

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

Never doubt His words. Because His words are eternal. And He is faithful. We just need to listen, to trust and to believe.

CFC Leader's Conference

First time kong makapasok sa Araneta Coliseum at first time ko din maging mass collector! Yipee!

Friday nagkaron kami ng chapter assembly sa SFC at in-invite ako ni Kuya Leo na sumama sa kanila kinabukasan sa Araneta para sa conference. Nung una medyo nagdalawang-isip pa kong sumama kasi leader's conference yun, eh hindi naman ako leader, haha uuwi na sana ko sa Bulacan ng saturday ng umaga dahil aabay ako sa kasal ng kaibigan ko ng sunday. Pero naisip ko naman, minsan lang naman yung opportunity na maka-attend ako sa conference ng CFC. Pati nakaka-excite kasi sa Araneta gaganapin. Naisip ko, tutal hanggang 7PM lang naman yung conference, after nalang nun ako luluwas pauwe. Tama tama.

Nagkita-kita kami sa Farmer's mga 1PM. Then tumuloy na kami sa Coliseum. Medyo excited talaga ko kasi first time kong makakapasok dun. Pagpasok namin...hindi naman pala ganung ka-engrande ang Big Dome gaya ng ineexpect ko. Yes they have this renovation pero halata pa rin talaga ang kalumaan nung structure. But still, Araneta Coliseum is Araneta Coliseum. It holds 5 decades of history, so bawi lang. Oha! oha!

Nung naghahanap na kami ng uupan, medyo nalito kami kasi ang nakalagay sa ticket eh CC109. Eh panay 401-407 ang nakalagay sa mga pinto. Ang akala namin, kelangan sa door entrance 100-199 kami papasok, yun pala kahit saan dahil free seating naman, at na-realize lang namin yun, nung umabot na kami hanggang sa kadulu-duluhan ng hallway. Anu ba yun! Haha. Ito kasing si Ate Sheila akala naman namin alam nya. Hehe.

Naging OK naman yung conference. Kumpleto ang buong family ministry ng Couples For Christ (CFC). Nandun ang Kids For Christ (KFC), Youth For Christ (YFC), Singles For Christ (SFC) at syempre kasama kami don, Servants of the Lord (SOLD) at ang Handmaids Of the Lord (HOLD). Habang nasa loob ako, palingap-lingap talaga ko. Siguro dahil din namamangha sa paligid. Syempre napaka-historic nung place. Pati ang laki nya talaga. Isa pang nakakatuwa, nag-mass collector ako kasama nila Kuya Leo. First time ko din mag ganun. At ang saya pala ng feeling kapag may naglalagay sa bag na hawak mo. Kumbaga mararamdaman mo talaga na maraming gustong tumulong hindi lang sa community kundi pati dun sa mga taong tinutulungan din naman ng ministry. After all, everything is for the glory of God.

 (Ayan yung ticket. Oh di ba nakalagay CC109. Nalito tuloy kame, hehe)